Why I Chose Not to Have My Other Dog Present for Harrison’s End-of-Life Care
- Aug 10
- 10 min read
When we made the decision to say goodbye to Harrison, our beloved Boston Terrier, we chose to have a veterinarian come to our home.
We wanted his final moments to take place somewhere familiar. We did not want him to experience the stress of being placed in the car, driven to a veterinary office, carried into an unfamiliar room, or surrounded by unfamiliar sounds and smells.
Home was where Harrison felt safe.
It was where he slept, where he spent time with us, and where he had lived the ordinary moments that made up his life. Having his end-of-life care performed at home allowed us to keep the atmosphere quiet and peaceful.
However, one member of our family was not present that day.
Our other dog, Piper, went to doggy day care.
Some people believe that a surviving dog should be present when another dog is euthanized or should be allowed to see and smell the dog afterward. I understand why families make that choice, and it may be helpful or appropriate for some dogs.
For Piper, we decided it was not the right choice.
We Had Two Years to Prepare for Losing Harrison
Harrison had a brain tumor.
We lived with that diagnosis for approximately two years before his death. During that time, we experienced what is often called anticipatory grief: the grief that begins before a loved one dies when you know a serious or terminal condition may eventually lead to loss.
We were grateful to still have Harrison with us, but the possibility of losing him was always present in the background.
Those two years gave us time to love him, care for him, monitor his quality of life, and slowly understand that a goodbye would eventually come. They did not make his death easy. Nothing could have done that.
But we did not arrive at the decision suddenly.
We had already spent a long time thinking about what Harrison would need when the time came. We knew that we wanted his last experience to be as peaceful and free from fear as possible.
Why We Chose End-of-Life Care at Home
For Harrison, home felt like the kindest setting.
The American Animal Hospital Association’s end-of-life guidelines explain that at-home euthanasia allows an animal to remain in familiar surroundings and avoids the stress associated with traveling. The guidelines describe the purpose of home euthanasia as creating a calm, low-anxiety experience for the animal and family.
Cornell University’s College of Veterinary Medicine similarly notes that some veterinarians perform euthanasia in the home and that, regardless of location, the goal is to make the animal as comfortable as possible.
Harrison did not have to travel anywhere.
He did not have to wait in a veterinary office. He did not have to adjust to an unfamiliar room. We were able to stay with him in the place he knew best.
It was an incredibly sad day, but it was also peaceful. Choosing an in-home service remains one of the decisions I feel most comfortable with when I think back on
Harrison’s final moments.
Why Piper Went to Doggy Day Care
Although we wanted Harrison at home, we did not want Piper present during the appointment.
Piper already had a great deal of mistrust toward humans. Unfamiliar people entering the house could make her nervous and protective.
An end-of-life appointment involves a stranger coming into the home, approaching a vulnerable dog, bringing unfamiliar supplies, moving around the room, and interacting closely with the family during an emotionally intense event.
We did not know how Piper would interpret any of that.
She would not have understood that the veterinarian had come to help Harrison. She may only have understood that an unfamiliar person had entered her home while everyone around her was distressed.
We did not want her barking, pacing, becoming defensive, attempting to intervene, or feeling that she needed to protect Harrison or us.
Piper was our foster failure. She came to us when she was around 1 or 2. While she is wonderful with our family she tends to not enjoy the company of anyone else. We did not want Piper to trust humans less than she already does.
Sending Piper to doggy day care allowed Harrison to receive the calm, undivided attention we wanted him to have.
It also allowed Piper to spend the day in a routine she already understood rather than exposing her to an unfamiliar and potentially frightening experience.
Piper’s Absence Was Not a Lack of Love
It can be easy to feel guilty about decisions surrounding euthanasia.
Should everyone be present? Should children be there? Should another dog watch? Should the surviving pet be allowed to see the body?
There are strong opinions surrounding these questions, but every family, animal, relationship, and situation is different.
Piper’s absence did not mean she was unimportant.
It did not mean we were preventing her from saying goodbye.
It meant we were making a decision based on the dog Piper actually was—not the dog we wished she could be in that moment.
She was fearful and suspicious of unfamiliar humans in her home. Asking her to remain calm during an emotionally charged veterinary procedure would not necessarily have helped her understand Harrison’s death.
It might simply have frightened her.
What Does Research Say About Having Another Dog Present?
The research on whether a surviving dog should witness euthanasia or view the body of a companion is limited.
There is evidence that dogs may show behavioral changes after the death of another household dog. However, researchers have not established that being present during euthanasia or viewing the body reliably prevents those changes.
A 2022 study surveyed 426 people who had owned at least two dogs and had experienced the death of one. Owners commonly reported changes in the surviving dog, including increased attention seeking, reduced play, lower activity, more sleep, increased fearfulness, eating less, and increased vocalization.
The quality of the dogs’ relationship appeared to matter. Dogs who had shared a close or friendly relationship were more likely to show behavioral changes after the loss. The owner’s own grief and emotional state were also associated with reported changes in the surviving dog.
Importantly, that study did not find that viewing the deceased dog affected how long the surviving dog’s behavioral changes lasted.
An earlier study involving owners of dogs and cats also found that surviving animals were reported to change after the loss of an animal companion. Reported changes included seeking more attention, spending time in the deceased animal’s favorite locations, eating differently, sleeping more, and changing their vocal behavior.
These studies suggest that dogs can be affected by the disappearance of a companion.
However, they relied primarily on owners reporting what they observed. That makes it difficult to determine exactly what the animals understood or whether every reported behavior represented grief in the same way humans experience it.
Do Dogs Understand Death?
We do not fully know what a dog understands when another dog dies.
A survey of 153 veterinarians found that slightly more than half had at least occasionally observed behavioral changes in nearby animals during euthanasia.
Reported reactions in dogs included sudden silence, agitation, and barking.
Veterinarians offered several possible explanations, including detecting physical or scent changes, responding to the emotions of people in the room, recognizing illness, or reacting to the death itself.
That study does not prove that dogs understand death in a human sense.
It does show that some dogs react to what happens during euthanasia, while others may not show a noticeable response.
For a calm dog who shared a close bond with the dying animal, being nearby or being allowed to investigate the body afterward may be a reasonable option.
For an anxious, reactive, protective, or easily overwhelmed dog, witnessing the procedure may add stress without providing a clear benefit.
I cannot confirm that being present helps every surviving dog understand the loss. Current research does not support such a universal conclusion.
There Is No Single Correct Decision
Some families choose to have their other pets in the room.
Others keep them in a separate room and allow them to come in afterward.
Some allow the surviving dog to sniff or approach the deceased dog’s body.
Others arrange for the surviving dog to be out of the house for the entire appointment.
None of these decisions should automatically be treated as the only compassionate choice.
The decision should depend on factors such as:
The surviving dog’s temperament
The relationship between the dogs
Fear or reactivity toward strangers
Territorial behavior inside the home
The dog’s response to human distress
Whether the dog can settle quietly
The physical setup of the room
The veterinarian’s recommendations
Whether another person can supervise the surviving dog
The wishes and emotional needs of the family
A dog who is calm, curious, and closely bonded to the dying animal may react very differently from a dog who is fearful of visitors and believes it is their responsibility to guard the home.
When Having the Other Dog Present May Make Sense
It may be reasonable to include another dog when the dog:
Is calm around unfamiliar people
Does not guard the home or family
Can remain settled during emotional situations
Shared a close bond with the dying dog
Can be supervised by a separate trusted person
Can leave the room freely
Is unlikely to interfere with the veterinarian
Is comfortable with medical handling and equipment
Even then, the dog does not necessarily need to witness every part of the procedure.
The dog might rest in another area during the appointment and be given an opportunity to enter afterward. The veterinarian can help the family understand what physical changes to expect and how to manage the introduction safely.
When It May Be Better for the Other Dog to Leave
Having the surviving dog elsewhere may be the kinder choice when that dog:
Is reactive toward visitors
Is deeply mistrustful of unfamiliar people
Guards the home
Is protective of the sick dog
Becomes agitated when family members cry
Is likely to bark or lunge
Cannot settle behind a gate or in another room
Has significant anxiety
May interfere with the procedure
Could create a safety concern for the veterinarian
Has a familiar and comfortable alternative place to spend the day
The dying dog’s comfort must remain the priority.
The surviving dog’s emotional and physical safety also matters.
Dogs May Still React to the Loss
Keeping Piper away from the appointment did not guarantee that she would be unaffected by Harrison’s absence.
Dogs notice changes in their homes and routines. They may notice that a familiar dog is no longer sleeping in the same location, eating nearby, walking with the family, or sharing toys and attention.
Research based on owner reports has found that behavioral changes after the death of a companion can last weeks or months for some dogs, while other dogs show few or no noticeable changes.
Possible changes may include:
Looking for the other dog
Waiting near doors
Sleeping in different places
Eating more slowly or eating less
Becoming more affectionate
Seeking additional attention
Becoming quieter
Vocalizing more
Sleeping more
Playing less
Appearing more fearful or unsettled
These behaviors do not prove that a dog understands the permanence of death. They do show that dogs can respond to the loss of a familiar companion and the changes that follow.
Helping a Surviving Dog After a Loss
After a household dog dies, maintaining a familiar routine can provide stability.
Helpful steps may include:
Keeping regular meal times
Continuing familiar walks
Preserving bedtime routines
Providing gentle attention
Offering familiar toys and enrichment
Allowing the dog to rest
Avoiding major unnecessary changes
Watching eating, drinking, and bathroom habits
Monitoring for signs of illness or prolonged distress
Do not assume every behavioral change is grief.
Reduced appetite, lethargy, restlessness, vocalization, sleep changes, and withdrawal can also have medical causes. Contact your veterinarian when changes are significant, persistent, or concerning.
The Right Decision Was the One That Protected Both Dogs
We chose an in-home goodbye because we wanted Harrison to remain in the place where he felt safest.
We chose doggy day care for Piper because it was a familiar activity and because we knew how much she mistrusted unfamiliar humans in her home.
Those decisions were not contradictory.
One choice protected Harrison from the stress of leaving home. The other protected Piper from the stress of witnessing an unfamiliar person perform a procedure she could not understand.
Most importantly, it allowed Harrison’s final moments to remain quiet.
We could focus completely on him.
We could sit with him, love him, and say goodbye without asking Piper to manage a situation that may have overwhelmed her.
I Do Not Regret Letting Piper Be Elsewhere
Looking back, I do not believe Piper needed to witness Harrison’s death to know that life had changed.
She experienced his absence in her own way after she returned home.
Perhaps another dog would have benefited from being present. Perhaps another family would have chosen differently. But Piper’s history, fear, and mistrust mattered.
There is no single ritual that every dog must experience to grieve properly.
There is no research proving that every surviving dog should witness euthanasia.
There is only the responsibility to look honestly at the animals in front of us and make the most compassionate decision we can.
For Harrison, compassion meant letting him remain at home.
For Piper, compassion meant letting her spend the day somewhere familiar, away from an event that could have frightened her.
For us, compassion meant creating the most peaceful goodbye we could after two years of knowing that one day we would have to let Harrison go.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should another dog be present during euthanasia?
There is no universal answer. Some calm, closely bonded dogs may be able to remain nearby. Anxious, reactive, protective, or territorial dogs may be safer and more comfortable elsewhere.
Does a dog need to see the body to understand that another dog died?
I cannot confirm this. Research has not established that viewing the body is necessary. One study found that viewing the deceased dog did not affect the duration of reported behavioral changes in the surviving dog.
Will a dog grieve if they are not present?
A dog may respond to the loss whether or not they witnessed the death. Dogs can notice the disappearance of a companion, changes in routines, and the emotional responses of the people around them.
Can a surviving dog be brought into the room afterward?
Some families choose this option. Discuss it with the veterinarian in advance and consider whether the surviving dog can approach calmly and leave freely. It should not be forced.
Is it cruel to send the other dog away?
No. Providing familiar care elsewhere may be the most compassionate option for a dog who would be frightened, disruptive, protective, or overwhelmed during the appointment.
Why choose in-home euthanasia?
At-home euthanasia can eliminate the need for a sick animal to travel and allows the animal to remain in familiar surroundings. Veterinary end-of-life guidelines identify comfort, familiarity, privacy, and reduced anxiety as potential benefits.
How can I prepare my other dog for the loss?
Dogs cannot be prepared through a verbal explanation in the way a person can. Focus on arranging safe care for the appointment, preserving the dog’s normal routine afterward, offering gentle support, and monitoring for behavioral or medical changes.
Every Peaceful Goodbye Looks Different
End-of-life decisions are deeply personal.
Some people say goodbye in a veterinary office. Others arrange an appointment at home. Some include every family member and pet. Others intentionally create a smaller, quieter space.
A meaningful goodbye does not have to follow someone else’s rules.
It needs to reflect the needs of the animal who is dying, the temperament of the animals who remain, and the family trying to make an impossible day as gentle as possible.
Harrison was home, surrounded by love.
Piper was safe in a place she already knew.
That was the peaceful goodbye our family needed.
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